You STRUCK me dumb like radium. [entries|friends|calendar] stepiphany [ website | reality-byte dot com ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

thankful and writing about it. [20 Oct 2006|10:08am] [ mood | recumbent ] Can't sleep, so I'm gonna quickly rewrite this so I can hopefully fall asleep from typing gibberish in the form of a losing train of thought. I am not grateful enough for the fact that I am blessed to be able to function every day normally, to be able to have all these opportunities presented to me, to have a loving family and a good source of aquaintances and an even greater handful of good friends. That this morning, when a modest white middle-aged man, without both legs but strenuously approaching the front door only to open it like a gentleman for me, and still plastering on an unfazed grin for my pleasure, I could not help but be infected by his friendly demeanor. Though he was evidently short in stature, he was towering above every normal person in that room with an uncompromising inner strength and faith about him. That his titanium cane to assist him as an obvious marker for being handicapped didn't faze him enough to feel bitter and revel in life's cruel twists of fate. That in spite of his lack of ability to stand on his own, he makes up in attitude, courage, and determination. And then to watch a video in lecture today about hundreds of adorable children in Singapore suffering from autism, and especially how the parents, after hearing the news of their children's interminable diagnosis and treatments, cry for two weeks, but quickly get over it and concentrate of improving the life of their offspring through four-six hour therapy sessions from hired nurses revolving around their unsettling homes 24/7. And the sadder reality is, that 10% are savants and highly intelligent individuals, only handicapped by this disease. But that's just it, isn't it? You just think how much you DO take for granted. That I can type this effortlessly (assuming I'm not falling asleep at the moment), or that I can properly stand and walk like almost everyone else. That I can think for myself, and that everyone around me can as well. There is just no more complaining allowed until there is really, seriously, something worth grumbling about. At least for me, and in comparison to these and millions of other humans, some trapped in war zones and constant fear, others gasping for their last breaths from widespread diseases, people like you and me.. but not really. A partial thanks to the environment which engulfs our lives and cages it in such a way that, while feeding egos with thoughts of nice cars and expensive jewelry, we forget sometimes that it could be worse. And, for some of us, that's it's better. Good. And that there are people to hug and thank for it. Many times over! For something we can't imagine having otherwise. Right now, I'm just.. thankful. So thankful, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Hah. At least I don't need some life-changing mishap like those crazed stories you hear on talk shows to realize that life is good. Though it could always be better, I'm so thankful right now.. and with that, I shall sleep more peacefully than yesterday! post comment

[24 Jul 2006|07:40am] "Am I worthy enough for you to have me?" This could be my definition of the encompassing question all chick-flicks gradually lead up to. Could be said by girl who likes boy, or boy who likes girl. Is this what it is like in real life, girl continues to pine over guy until somehow, upon tumultuous and ill-fated events, they somehow, through the magic of serendipity and destiny, end up together in each other's arms? How do these directors make it believable? Believable and achievable? Why would men cry over "The Notebook", or compel women to name their babies after Colin Firth because he was THAT dashing in "Pride and Prejudice"? Or has society finally grown bored enough of the predictable scene repeated in the past twenty years, of lovelorn folks somehow finding each other amidst an impossible world of hate and bigotry? Bored that we can accept the possibility that two lovers apart by two years find a bizarre connection through the mailbox and writing letters in it? Oh, how the Asian community has dominated this scene for too long; at least that is something I am extremely proud of, that Asia will always maintain the imagination to pursue quirky relationships and original concepts that intertwine two hearts together.. like with the mailbox. Letter goes in the mailbox, letter is received and put back.. into the mailbox. Wow.. whodathunk it? Certainly not me. Maybe it's because I've been overloaded with six hours of watching the original version of "P&P", some with a couple of buddies, half-an-hour with the mom, and the rest alone to include my relaxation period and time to myself. I forgot how much I loved this film, so much more than the 2005 version, because it's so much more authentic, capturing main characters Lizzy Bennet in such a beautiful way, and Mark Darcy in his. It is truly a classic that I have forgotten about all these years, from the first time in 4th grade that my mother, British Masterpiece Theatre whore that she is, first introduced me to this unique world no one else knew about of 19th century love relationships occurring in a different time, but with the same problems we face today. Boy doesn't know until it's too late, but girl saves herself, or vice versa, and all is saved. And they carry on happily ever after. Mark Darcy, why is it that all educated and well-read women always say they wish a Mark Darcy would appear in their lives? Someone seemingly the most disagreeable man in the room, turning out to be so much like yourself that you love him too much. Someone who you've misled from misfortunes and gossip, and almost lose out in the end, had it not been for Darcy's kind nature and guarded soul to open your's. The book ultimately teaches the idea of learning to love, rather than love at first sight.. although there was that mentioning towards the beginning where their eyes locked in an instant from across the room, to describe that instant attraction and connection felt only through natural chemistry. See, THIS and everything about it leaves all women light on their feet and yearning for their own Darcy. Haha, I hate the fact that I've been captured by him again... chick flicks never cease to disappoint, with or without a happy ending. post comment

[18 Jul 2006|11:12am] I can't wait for school to start. I can't wait to re-start my life with people and reunions and new faces. I am hating this slow, uneventful summer that is coming to pass soon, I hope. It's not so bad, but at boring times, I just wish I could be back with people to have fun with. But instead, there's work and home. Simply put. Taking charge of your life took more waiting time than I had hoped. People get tired of waiting sometimes. Impatience is slowly grabbing me from the seams and forcing me to scream out and run. But then again... there's nothing like chilling to your favorite videos and movies, alone or with your friends, and just enjoying that relaxing moment that defines summer. That and chillin' at the beach. =) Okay, that puts a lovely smile on my face, as it would for anyone else, I assume. Unless you're deathly afraid of water and sand and sharp remnant objects in the forms of beer bottles, cig butts, dried up sea carcass, or broken seashells. Then be afraid, be VERY afraid. Friends are nice to have, only the best and close ones you can trust with your heart and soul. I need to open myself more to more of these. post comment

[12 Jul 2006|10:42am] Sometimes I can never get enough from the news, especially the seemingly trivial ones. It's so interesting to learn about so much that is going with the world, that if you never took the initiative to pick up a newspaper, or go online to a news community, or watch some local or national news on the telly, then all you really have to rely on is.. word of mouth? Haha, or LJ community groups (cha, yeah right.) I simply get a little thrill from reading interesting feeds.. that and typing on a clackity loud keyboard, which oddly enough, is ironically called DELL QuietKey. I find that amusing. Downfall of college in Irvine = bubble. Caught in the updraft that is social life, academics, etc. It is a failure to notice our surroundings beyond the indefinite suburbia of very similar houses, mapped out streetways, perfectly lined trees against three-feet high brick walls. But it's part of the college experience I guess, completely engross yourself in it all. My friend in Stanford notes the exact same issue--not so much a problem, per say--in which we both agree that it will not consume us.. too much! Therefore, summer getaways are a must. Ho yes. This coming from a self-confessed travel whore with rising wanderlust at the moment. I am excited for the places yet to be seen and experienced.. y a y. post comment

[10 Jul 2006|11:13am] My attempt at avoiding work for five minutes. Darn it, I thought it'd last a little longer! AH well. (Click here to post your own answers for this meme.) ✓ I miss somebody right now. × I don't watch much TV these days. ✓ I own lots of books. ✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. × I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana. × I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. ✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. ✓ I curse sometimes. ✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. ( it goes on... ) post comment

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